Bendy. Pliable. Moldable. As a follower of Christ, I have to allow myself to be shaped and remade again and again. Sometimes that means stretched to breaking so I can be put back together again. Every time it happens I am shocked, pained, and panicked. What is happening? Why am I so out of control? Until I see the end result. I am being made new – yet again. Seriously? Am I not done yet??
Most of my life, I have had a job that I could handle. School. I could do school. Sure, sometimes it was stressful or didn't go as well as I had hoped, but I could use my own efforts to get the grade and learn the material – plus I really liked social life, and I was really good at that part. Then I graduated and started teaching. I loved teaching. It was challenging, but it was a challenge I was ready to accept. I could go to workshops and read books to expand my skills to be a great teacher - maybe even my students' favorite teacher (quite the coveted title). Then, we had our daughter and I was blessed enough to be able to stay home with her until she started kindergarten. Endless crafts, activities, reading books snuggled on the couch, putting together puzzles and baking banana bread. That I could do. I bake a mean loaf of banana bread.
Then, while at a women's event at New Life, a friend who I greatly respect and love gave me a gentle nudge with these words, "I am sure you have prayed about this, but every time I pray about our new children's pastor I get your name. Just think about it." And there it was. Like a punch in the gut; God finally audibly calling to me while I was ignoring His whispers. I immediately reminded God of all the reasons why this was a ridiculous idea and perhaps this friend had some sort of mental melt-down. Why me? Who am I? I can't do it. The job is just too big.
As I sought counsel from my best sounding boards, they were unanimous in their response. “Why not you?” And in what seemed like a whirlwind of events, God placed me in this position of great responsibility and great reward. Funny thing though; I am still just me. He has yet to magically grant me with everything I feel like I need to get the job done on my own. On almost a daily basis I ask Him again, "Are you really sure about this?" Again and again He reminds me that this is the first time I have truly relied on Him daily. And, I have found the feeling I have – this feeling of resting heavily on Him to pull this thing off - is the best feeling I could ever have. He gets to prove Himself faithful every single day. I get to be on the front row of life to see Him come through every time.
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. – 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (ESV)
Where is God leading you that you are resisting because you are not enough? What is God speaking to you that you are ignoring because you aren’t capable of it? What is God saying to you that you are responding to Him with, “Are you crazy?” Are you supposed to start a daily devotion time? Reach out to a co-worker? Start a new job? Volunteer in an area at church? Sell your car to get out of debt? End a relationship? Start a family? Step out. God is strong enough. He will equip you with everything you need. He will draw near to you when you draw near to Him. It might not be comfortable, but just see what He can do. By stepping out of your comfort zone, you leave yourself no option but to rely on Him. Don’t rely on yourself. Rely on the radical, bloody, gloriously liberating, magnificent, and life-changing truth of the Gospel. Get bendy. Pliable. Moldable. I know One who can make you into something new and pretty darn amazing if you let Him have His way.
May God, who puts all things together,
makes all things whole,
Who made a lasting mark through the sacrifice of Jesus,
the sacrifice of blood that sealed the eternal covenant,
Who led Jesus, our Great Shepherd,
up and alive from the dead,
Now put you together, provide you
with everything you need to please him,
Make us into what gives him most pleasure,
by means of the sacrifice of Jesus, the Messiah.
All glory to Jesus forever and always! - Hebrews 13: 20-21 (The Message)
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