The Eye of the Needle

Yesterday, I came across several pictures on Facebook of people that are or have been in or around my circle of friends. I noticed something about these people that was a common thread that I do not share. There were pictures of them speaking at conferences, traveling on missions, writing books, pastoring a church, leading worship...

(Small aside...I have a friend who says that when she looks at Facebook, she spends most of her time thinking that all of those people are more together than she is. That all of those people have more exciting lives than her. That all of those people have arrived. We know in reality this can not be true, but who puts the ugly part of their lives out there for the world to see?)

This got me thinking, what am I doing? Where is my mark on the world? What choices could I have made differently to be doing something "big" for God now? I felt inadequate, like I had missed a mark and had disappointed God in some way. What if He called to me and I wasn't listening? What if I have rushed through life to be where I want to be and missed His leading?

As I continued to consider what my life would look like had I taken some unknown risk, I slowly began to feel a peace. I know God has a will for us. I do not believe that His will is like some eye of a needle that we must jump through at just the right angle to make it through in one piece. I also know that if we do miss something He has planned for us, He does not throw down his staff, pull His fingers through his long white beard and exclaim, "Well that is it for you! Your life is going nowhere now. Might as well call it quits. I better call in my relief pitcher for this one and move on. Frankly, I am shocked."

Both our associate pastor at church, and my husband have recently talked about "your burning bush". When Moses came across the burning bush in the desert, God was silent until  Moses "turned aside" to look at it. It was then, when God knew that He has the attention of Moses, that He spoke. --"When the LORD saw that he turned aside to see, God called to him out of the bush, "Moses, Moses!" And he said, 'Here I am.'" (Exodus 3:4 - ESV) Moses had to find the burning bush. Moses had to pay attention to what was in front of him. Moses had to be available to God.

God wants someone who looks like us, sounds like us, feels like us, to take His word into the world. He uses our flesh and blood to "be God" to others. Sometimes that looks like a pastor, and sometimes that looks like a mom. Sometimes that is the person singing on the stage and sometimes that is the guy running the sound.

So, my focus is to keep my eyes open for my burning bush. When I see it, I will turn aside and look at it and wait to hear the voice of God. I feel at confident that right now my role is as a mother, wife, and friend. My heart feels called to service, but that usually looks different that I would imagine in a global way. I watch friend's kids so they can have some time alone. I make food for women who have babies. I teach the preschoolers at church. These are not big things, but God knows my heart. I know that these things can impact the lives of others in big ways.

I am not giving up on a "big" life mission. I remain open to God's leading. I am content to raise my daughter, love and honor my husband, value my friendships, and know my God more. I am also willing to share my time and efforts in new ways. I have decided not to be frustrated with myself for what I lack, but to thank God that He has renewed my spirit so that I am not lacking in anything. I will wait, I will look for my burning bush, I will turn aside, I will hear God's direction, and I will say, "Here I am!"

Just think—you don't need a thing, you've got it all! All God's gifts are right in front of you as you wait expectantly for our Master Jesus to arrive on the scene for the Finale. And not only that, but God himself is right alongside to keep you steady and on track until things are all wrapped up by Jesus. God, who got you started in this spiritual adventure, shares with us the life of his Son and our Master Jesus. He will never give up on you. Never forget that. (I Corinthians: 4-8; The Message)